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❪ 18 ／ sam i am ❫
━━━━ ❛ mother of what?
mother of dragons? ❜
volume 1 , season 6

Dean Winchester was afraid.

Not only was his brother not waking up from his mini coma; closed off in the panic room for two days straight. Something was happening to Olive, and he didn't know what.

Dean knew about the journal, Castiel couldn't keep something like that from him forever. He knew a few things about Fotoula Portokalos, a witch that lived in the same neighborhood has Lisa and Ben, helping Olive with her abilities.

Dean knew all of these things. But he wasn't paying attention. He was so wrapped up in finding Sam's soul that he had stopped to see how powerful Olive had gotten, and how much she learned during self-training.

He didn't stop to see how sad she was. She didn't color, or pick flowers, or skip and hum. She was like him. A child slowly going numb to her dangerous surroundings, accepting that she could die at any moment. Fighting for her life.

Dean knew that he couldn't read the journal on his own, the pages blank for him. However, magic wasn't a foreign concept to Dean. While he wouldn't put what he did in a 'parenting 101' book, he still had Olive's blood from the rag he used to clean up her wounds.

After smearing a bit of that on the first page, the journal had opened up for him to read. After that, Dean spent all night reading Cora's journal, front to back. Thankfully the internet could translate most of the Greek, some paragraphs he just had to wing.

With all of that reading, Dean came to one conclusion.

Olive was in danger.

And it wasn't the type of danger they could run from, the physical kind that could be kept away by a godly charm. This danger followed Olive everywhere.

It was herself.

Dean always reminded himself over and over again that they were nothing like Cora and Sylas.

But he was wrong.

It was a continuous cycle of pain and self-destruction.

Bounds found each other at their low point. They loved each other like family. They did everything for each other, but in the end? One anchor was always left at the bottom of the ocean, while the ship floated on. One died and one wished they were dead. It was the same story.

If only he knew more about Cora and Sylas. What caused Sylas death? What happened that shattered their bound? He wanted to know so he could stop it from happening to him and Olive. Classic, those last four pages being ripped out. In fact, half of the important parts were. Those pages held the conclusion to their story and Dean didn't even know it.

It frustrated the hunter. Why can't things ever be simple for him?

"You good?" Bobby asked from behind his desk.

"Mhm?" Dean turns away from the journal, snapping it shut. "Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Why?"

"I dunno, maybe because you've been staring at that damn book for forty-six hours." Bobby responds.

"Distraction." He huffs.

Bobby pulls out two glasses from the desk, grabbing a half empty bottle of alcohol. "Welp. Like my daddy always said, 'Just because it kills your liver doesn't mean it ain't medicine.'" Dean nods in agreement at the quote. "Sam still asleep?"

"Yeah." Dean frowns.

"He'll wake up." He reassured. Dean didn't seem convinced. "Olive still staring at her ceiling?"

Dean chuckled bitterly. "Oh yeah, went upstairs to check on her and she was in the same damn spot, zoned out." He puts his glass down. "How do you handle a super-powered six year old with depression?"

"Tea party?" Bobby suggested unhelpfully.

Dean scoffs into his drink. "I wish." He says. "I constantly gotta worry about Olly, about Sam."

"Welcome to parenthood," Bobby grumbled, " 'sides, Sam has been through how much? Somehow, he's still kickin'. That little girl's got the weight of the world on her shoulders with or without ya; you might as well be there for all those mood swings. It ain't all a slice of pie."

"Yeah, well Sam hasn't been through this," Dean frowns. "And Olive can't look at a dead flower without feeling all types of emotional." Bobby has nothing to say, skimming through the newspapers on his desk. Dean leans forward. "A job?"

"Yep." Bobby sighs. The newspaper read Small Plane Crash Kills Two, with a picture of the little white plane that looked torn in half. Only one body was recovered seventeen miles away.

"Can I help? Send me to the library? Anything?" Dean offered rubbing his forehead.

Bobby shrugs. "Couple goes up in a light plane. Wreckage was just found in the woods."

"Couple of Buddy Hollys doesn't really seem like News of the Weird."

"Pilot was found seventeen miles away, flambeed. Girls just gone. No body, no nothing." Bobby continued.

Dean shrugs. "Okay? I'm not changing the channel."

"Dean."

The hunter turns around slowly, the pit in his stomach slowly rising when he sees Sam on the other side, "Sam?" He said cautiously. "Are you—?" The youngest brother throws his arms around him, emotion fueling the hug as they both tried not to tear up.

Sam pulls back with a warm smile, his smile. The hunter never seemed more relieved, looking towards Bobby and crushing the older man into a hug. Bobby still seems panicked around the hunter, rightfully so.

"Good to see ya." Bobby says.

Sam pulls back, "Wait. I saw—I felt Lucifer snap your neck." He explains.

The hunters share a confused look. "Yeah well, Cas kinda—"

"Cas is alive?!" Sam smiles in disbelief.

"Uh yeah, Cas is fine. Sam are. . .are you okay?" Dean asked, looking his brother over.

Sam let out a breath. "Actually uh, I'm starving."

-

Soon after, the three hunters gathered in the kitchen. Dean watched in bewilderment as Sam scoffed down another sandwich. "Are these Capri Suns?" Sam chuckles, holding the pouch up. "Love these."

"So, Sam." Dean starts awkwardly.

"Yeah?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

Sam pauses, his eyes flashing in memory. "The field." He shrugs. "And then I fell."

"Okay, and then?" Dean pushed.

"Um, I woke up in the panic room." He explains like it was obvious, taking another bite.

"That's it?" Bobby accused. "You really don't remember—?"

"Let's be glad." Dean cuts off instantly. Bobby gives him a wide-eyed look, not liking Dean's plan to keep the last year a secret from Sam. "Who wants to remember all that Hell?"

Sam gives a meek nod. "Well, how long was I gone?"

"About a year and a half."

His eyes widened. "What? I was downstairs for—?" He scoffs in disbelief, trying to rack his brain. "I don't remember anything. So how'd I get back? Was it Cas?"

Dean hesitates. "Not exactly."

"Dean, what did you do?" Sam scolded nervously.

"Me and Death—"

"Death? The horseman?!"

Dean waves him off, "I had leverage. It's done." He said calmly.

"You're sure?" Sam pressed.

He nods. "It's over. Slates wiped."

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Well, isn't this just neat and clean?"

"Yes. It is, for once." He says hostilely. Bobby stared a him for a long moment, disappointed. Sam watched him, completely confused while Dean breaks eye contact first. Finally something could be simple.

Sam leans back in his chair, amazed. "Wow. Well is there anything else I should know?"

"Daddy?"

Dean holds his breath, watching as Sam snaps his head towards the door with wide eyes. Slowly, he turns towards the door, mustering up a large smile. Olive walks in cautiously, her eyes never leaving Sam's. She let out a shaky breath, waiting for something to happen.

But all Sam did with let out an amazed breath, "I-I thought you said I was only gone for a year?" He turns to Dean.

The hunter smiles sheepishly, "And a half." He stands up quickly, walking over to Olive and picking her up. She starts to push away when Dean walks over to Sam, her eyes flashing in fear. "Uh, Sam? This is Olive. Olive, Sam."

"But we—" Olive tilts her head.

Dean gives her a soft look, with his eyes Dean had told her everything she needed to know. This wasn't the Soulless man she had been traveling with for months. This was Sam. The Sam.

"Oh." She dragged, her voice squeaking.

Unlike the first time, Olive could see his hue clearly. It was damaged, a low flickering like a dying flame. It was holding on for dear life, and it made Olive feel sad for it.

Sam stands up, fumbling for the chair that almost dropped behind him. He awkwardly moves forward, raising his hand with a smile. "Wow. Uh, hi. It's nice to meet you." He greets softly, "I-I've always wanted to be an uncle." He admits.

Olive stares at his hand, holding her breath. It was almost like a new turning point, a fresh chapter ready to be read. This was the Sam she was supposed to meet. The one from the stories. But he still had the Soulless man's face, the one who broke her leg with a metal pipe and almost let her die on multiple occasions.

"Hi." Olive replies meekly, burying her face into the crook of Dean's neck. Dean rubs her back soothingly, the rapid beating of her chest making him uneasy.

Sam drops his hand in disappointment, stepping back from the pair.

"She's just a little shy." Dean explains. "She'll warm up to you. . .hopefully." He mumbled.

"Again. Anything else I should know?" Sam laughed.

Dean shared another look with Bobby before shaking his head. "Nope. Another beer?"

-

"How is he?"

Dean and Olive walk into Bobby's workshop, one with two beers and the other holding a sunflower. Olive placed the flower in the front pouch of her overall shorts, sitting on the bench as Bobby worked on a car.

"He's uh, he's good." Dean nods. "Really good. Better than I could have hoped."

Bobby stops, giving him a look. "Mh-hm."

He takes a sip of his beer. "What? Why the poopface?"

Bobby and Olive share a look of agreement, both being the victims of Soulless Sam's episodes. They just can't seem to look at him the same way, now when it's only been two days since he tried to kill them.

"I'm glad he's better. I really am." Bobby starts. "But that kid went straight-up Menendez on me and Olive not ten days ago. And now it's all just erased? Sorry, but I'm having a bit of a hard time even looking at him."

"And you both feel this way?" Dean asked slowly, turning to Olive.

She reddens lightly, nervously scratching the skin of her forearm behind her back. "He did break my leg with a metal pipe." She agreed.

Dean sighs. "It wasn't Sam."

"Maybe it wasn't all Sam, but it was him, Dean."

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" He huffs. "You want me to tell him everything?"

"Yes." Olive grumbles.

"No." Bobby says. "Just wish I could. That's all."

"If we start throwing that crap at him, we don't know what'll happen. Could crack the wall." Dean states. Olive sighed, agreeing with him. His soul was barely holding on as it was, telling Sam could do some really bad damage. "So you know what? As far as I'm concerned, it's a gift horse. And I'm not looking for teeth, I'm sending Death a damn fruit basket."

Bobby sighs. "He's gonna find out, you know. One way or another, someone will tell him or he'll figure it out on his own." He says. "He's not dumb. He should hear it from us."

Dean closes his eyes, gathering himself. "Can we just leave it alone for the moment, please?"

He raises his hands in defence, grabbing his wrench and turning back to the car. "Okay. But you better prep for the B side because when Sam realizes we're shining him. . .it ain't gonna be cute."

Dean runs his hand over his face. "Anything you want to add?" He asked Olive.

The child looks up from the table, "Want me to find you a pretty flower?" She asked, thinking that it would help him feel better.

It had been the first time in a while she had the urge.

He smiles, "No, I'm good, but go pick one anyway; then go pack up your things, we leave in ten." She gives a quick nod, hopping off the bench and rushing off to the house.

-

Dean made Olive get a new backpack last week after the strap of her old one broke, she had never been more upset and spend over an twenty minutes disagreeing with all of the ones Dean held up in the store. It was surprisingly Sam who held up a big green backpack with a small ghost pin on the front, looking annoyed as ever to be spending his weekend in the child's section of a store in town. Olive fell in love with it.

The girl ran around the room stuffing her new clothes in the first space. Her style has changed drastically since living with Lisa and Ben, going from pretty pinks and purples to dark blues and flannels. Olive even had a few pairs of graphic tee-shirts, space and star themes. Olive also had to get rid of her sparkly pink shoes, growing out of them. Now she wore running sneakers, Dean said they were flexible and good for hunting.

Out of all the things that slowly changed in Olive's appearance, Sam Winchester's jacket would always stay the same. The long sleeves that she always had to roll up, the multiple pockets that was usually filled with colorful rocks or flowers, sometimes lollipop wrappers. No matter how much Olive changed, that jacket would never leave her side.

It makes her frown, feeling so connect to a piece of clothing that belonged to a person who didn't even care about her.

With a sigh, she slips it on, clipping the bottom. She lifts up her pillow, looking for the Journal only to be meet with empty sheets. "Oh no." Olive mumbles, looking under the bed, and ripping off the covers. "Where is it?" She squeaked.

Knowing she wouldn't find it in there, Olive slugs her backpack over her shoulder, grabbing her teddy bear, and running out of the room. She didn't even making it towards the stairs before crashing into another body, causing her to stumbled back as a yelp escaped her lips. A large hand grips her arm before she fell backwards.

"Whoa, you okay?" Sam asked, concerned. Olive looked up at him, unable to form words. She jumps back at his touch, remembering the same grip from the same man who dragged her into a shed with the intention of murder. "Sorry, I didn't see you, you're just. . .small." He apologized awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh." Was all she could manage, staring at her shoes.

Sam shifts at the silence, looking her over with a small smile. He looks her over. The facial expressions, the stance, even the way she dressed screamed Winchester. And the fact that she looked similar to his brother caused Sam to let out a soft laugh. "Wow."

"What?" She couldn't help but ask, looking up at him.

"It's just you." He gestures to her. "I mean, I always knew Dean wanted a family of his own but. . .I guess I never thought he'd go for it."

"I'm adopted." Her cheeks redden.

"That's still family." He reassures. "He a good dad?"

Olive couldn't help but brighten, a small smile tugging on her lips. "He's the best daddy in the whole wide world."

Sam grins. "I knew he'd be." He waved. "Uh, see you later, Olive. Try not to crash into people, okay?" He said with amusement, and with a nod, Sam walks down the steps, leaving Olive in the hallway alone.

Olive watches him disappear, a calm feeling washing over her. "See you later." She mumbles, squeezing her teddy bear close to her chest.

-

"You can't bring it." Dean shook his head. "I'm serious, O."

She stares back with a deep frown, crossing her arms. "I promise to take good care of it!"

"You say that now, but I'm the one that ends up responsible for it." He replied, loading up the Impala.

"But I already named him!"

"You can't keep the pet rock!" Dean crosses his arms. "Now put it down and help me load the car." With a deep sigh, Olive pulls the rock out of her pocket and throws it onto the ground.

"I'll never forget you." She mumbles to it, dramatically blinking away tears. Dean smiles at her, glad that some piece of her innocence was still left.

"Sam still asleep?" Bobby asked, throwing his bag in the backseat. Olive goes to say no, but Dean was already nodding.

"Yeah, let him rest. We'll call him from there." Dean responds. Olive throws another back of weapons in the trunk, which Dean slams shut.

"Call me from where?" Sam walks over. Olive jumps at his presences, and Bobby shifts.

"Oh, uh." Dean starts. "There's this thing in Oregon."

Sam nods with a happy attitude. "Great. I'm in."

"Whoa whoa whoa." He responds. "You just got topside."

"Exactly. I'm up, I'm good." Sam responds, confused at the sudden hostility.

"Well a few more days of cable couldn't hurt."

Sam gives his brother a look. "Right, because that's what you did when you got back from Hell." He says sarcastically.

Dean takes a moment, glancing at Olive who seemed pale. He sighs. "Alright, family road trip. You, me, Olly and Bobby."

"Oh, you three go on ahead." Bobby grabs his bag. "You got this covered." Olive can tell he was trying to get out of the situation, and she wasn't the only one. "I, uh, forgot I promised that idjit Rufus I'd work the phones for him, so..."

Dean glares, "You sure?"

Bobby shifts. "Yeah, yeah. You three enjoy catching up, okay?"

"Maybe I should work the phones, too!" Olive blurts, shifting when the attention was on her. "I-I like playing with the curly things connected to them." She admits.

"No." Dean dismissed. Olive grumbles, watching Bobby walk away from the awkward situation that she didn't want to be apart of.

"What was that?" Sam asked, also watching the hunter leave.

"One part age, three parts liquor." Dean humored. His smile dropped, making his way towards the car.

Olive let out a deep sigh, being the last one inside of the car. The day hasn't even started and Olive already dreaded it.

And Olive was right. The car ride to Oregon was filled with awkward silence. Sam had tried making conversation with Olive in the backseat, but each question was given with short, uncomfortable answers. Sam tried talking to Dean, but even he knew his brother was in his own headspace.

Night fell quickly, and soon Olive fell asleep in the backseat. Dean turning on the radio to fill the silence, his tired eyes on the room, looking back every few minutes to make sure she was breathing.

"Alright, you got it, Officer. Thank you, you too." Sam says before hanging up the phone, instantly turning towards his brother. "So get this, besides the crash, there were two other disappearances in town this week."

"Really?"

"Yeah, last weekend this college girl vanished from her apartment." Sam reads off the article, "On the seventeenth floor." He finished. The brothers share a knowing look. "And three days ago, another girl didn't make it home from school."

Dean glanced in the rear view mirror. "They know each other?"

"No. No connection." He responds. "Just young and female, like the plane crash girl."

Dean shakes his head. "Who would disappear a girl out of the sky? Anyway?"

Sam sighs. "Good question." He responds, knowing no other information. There was a long silence between them, "So you never even tried, huh?" He asked.

Dean looks to him, "Tried?"

"It go live a life, after." He explains. "You do remember you promised that, right?"

Dean nods, his jaw slacked. "Yeah I remember."

"So why didn't you try?" Sam asked lightly.

"What makes you think I didn't try?" Dean mused, motioning to the backseat. "My try is right there."

Sam nods. "Yeah but, I mean besides Olive. Look at you. Look at this. She knows about our world, and you're exactly the same." He says.

Dean shrugs, a bitter thought crossing his mind. It was Sam who came back, turning the year he spend blissfully upside down. "Yeah, you're probably right." He responds.

Sam gives a faint nod, not expecting Dean to continue. His eyes drift to the backseat, where Olive slept curled in a ball. The young hunter noticed the jacket around her instantly, the old one he used to wear when he was still a College Student, the one he wore when looking for his father. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Is that my jacket?"

Dean glanced back, and chuckles, "Hasn't really taken it off since the night I found her."

Sam smiles gently, leaning back in his seat. He felt a sense of pride in his chest.

"We was with them for a year." Dean says suddenly, finding it hard to talk about the subject. "I found Olive first. . .then we where with Lisa and Ben."

Sam reels back. "A year?" His brother gives a painful nod, no emotion on his face. "So then what?"

Dean glances, not wanting to talk about it anymore. "It didn't work out." He dismissed, cranking up the radio to drown out anymore questions. Olive slept on, unaware of the conversation in the car.

Sam reaches forward, turning off the radio. Dean sighs, but Sam wasn't done. "How did you find her?"

"I came across a case, found her in a cabin in the woods." Dean simplified. "Demons."

"What would demons want with a little kid?" Sam scrunched his nose in disgust. Dean did a double-take on the reaction, not only was it filled with the emotions that the other Sam lacked, it also reminded Dean of his daughter, who did the same face.

He clears his throat. "I dunno, but um, I decided to take her in. . .couldn't bring myself to drop her off somewhere, it didn't feel right."

"You seem to really care about her." Sam says softly.

"Yeah. . .I do."

-

The brothers had gone around town doing their standard sweep, posing as fake FBI agents to find more information on the disappearances. Olive was dropped off at the motel room, where she read through lore in hopes to help them.

She didn't know how long it took for them to come back, giving up on reading a long time ago and focusing on drawing. She hadn't colored much, and planned to make a picture for Dean when he got home.

When the door knob jiggled, a bright smile flashed on her face, standing up. She held up her drawing, which consisted of her and Dean as stock figures in front of a poorly shaped Impala that she colored in purple crayon. The door opens and her face falls when Sam was the only one that stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

Her disappointment was completely noticeably to Sam, who pinched his lips together awkwardly as he shrugged off his jacket and draped it on the chair. Olive sighs, slumping in the chair across from him with a sour expression.

"Disappointed?" He asked. She responds with a shrug. "Nice picture." He complements, opening his laptop.

Olive nods slowly, swinging her legs back and forth. She opens another page of her coloring book, a deep frown forming on her face when she realized she was out of pages. Can this day get any worse? Sam pretends not to pay attention, typing away on his computer as he looked up, her sad frown made him frown.

"Here." He says, opening his bag and pulling out a notebook, flipping through it before ripping out some pages. "You can use these."

He holds them out to her, almost like an offering. Sam giving her these papers were a sign that he meant no harm, that he wanted to share. Seeing her sad stirred something in the man, almost like he was watching his younger self.

Olive smiles. It was barely there, but it was enough. "Thank you, Mister." She grabs the papers, and begins coloring silently.

Sam smiles at their progress, and continues looking through lore.

Dean walks into the motel room a few hours later, three bags of fast food and drinks. His eyes sweep the room, pausing on the table where Olive sat across from Sam, coloring on paper. This was the first time since the hunt that Olive sat next to Sam by choice, which surprised him.

"Hey." Sam greets, not looking up from his computer. Olive smiled at him before instantly going back to drawing.

He puts the food on the table, shrugging off his jacket. "Find anything."

"Well, looks like those other two missing girls both baked cookies for the Lord." Sam explains.

"What is that code?"

Sam blinks. "No. Church choir, bake sales, uh, promise ring clubs, the works." He listed. "They were good girls. But Penny wasn't even a Christian, so--"

"I have another theory." Dean pulls out a book from his back pocket, a smug smile on his face. "Penny's diary."

"Did you steal that from her room?" Sam asked with a frown.

Dean smiles at the question. "I love that you even ask me that."

"And why wouldn't I?" He accused, like a scolding parent to a child.

His smile drops at the slip. "No reason." He said nonchalantly, "So, girlnappings. What if it's not about religion? What if it's about purity?"

"You mean you think they're all--?"

"Virgins, Sam. Virgins."

"What's a Virgin?" Olive pipes up, her eyebrows knitted together.

"Nothing." Sam says instantly. "It's a brand of cheese." Dean grins at this. "Dean, Penny was 22."

"Yeah with a pink room."

"So?" He pressed.

"And stuffed teddy bears." Dean deadpanned.

"I love my teddy bear." Olive said randomly.

Dean dramatically bops her nose.

Sam squints. "Fine. But you really think--?"

He holds is finger up, signaling him to stop talking as he opened the diary. "'I've decided I'm going to give Stan my most precious gift.'" He looks to his brother knowingly.

Sam blinks. "Wow. That sounded really creepy coming from your mouth."

He frowns. "I think I delivered it."

"You know, you could have led with they diary." Sam shakes his head. "Anyway, let's say you're right. Who would want virgins?"

"It doesn't even sound like a good brand of cheese." Olive says, offended. A smile forms on Sam's face at her comment.

"Hey, beats me. I prefer ladi-, uh--cheese, with experience." Dean nods his head. He looks to his daughter. "Eat your food."

She shifts. "I'm not hungry."

"You haven't eaten anything since Bobby's." He pressed.

Sam raises his arms to stretch, freezing midway when Olive flinches at the action. His eyes flash with a mix of hurt and confusion. He looks to Dean, waiting for him to say something at the sudden tension. Dean clears his throat.

"Fine, at least go hop in the shower, okay?" He gives her a smile. Olive nods slowly, slipping out of the chair and running into the bathroom. Dean sighs out.

"What was that about?" He accused. "Did I do something?"

Dean freezes, "No. . .No she's just like that."

"Does that happen often?" Sam continued. "She seems to be, I don't know, scared of me."

Not once. "All the time." He shrugs. "Just needs to get used to you, that's all."

Sam nods slowly, not convinced.

-

The next morning another girl was attacked, Sam and Dean going down to the hospital to interview her. Olive spend the remainder of the day texting Ben. She decided it was time to face Lisa and Ben, calls where once in a while, she couldn't manage her emotions in the heat of the moment, leaving them still kept her awake at night, but Ben didn't seem to be angry through his message. He missed her just as much.

Sam and Dean came back to the motel during lunchtime. They were hunting Dragons. Olive had never been more excited and horrified in her life. Dean had to remind her that Puff the Magic Dragon wasn't actually a real dragon and didn't look like the image she had in her head, that put Olive more on the horrified side of the case.

Dean decided to drive to San Francisco not even an hour later, leaving Olive in the care of Sam. She tired pleading with her eyes, not wanting to ne alone with Sam for longer than she had too, especially when he wasn't there, but Dean wasn't going to take her all the way to San Francisco as a distraction when she was perfectly safe in the motel room.

Night fell quickly, and Olive had just gotten off the phone with Dean, saying her good-nights. She decided to text Bobby a goodnight text too, which was instantly replied with a 'Yeah yeah'. Olive smiles, knowing that he enjoyed her company even if he didn't show it.

Awkwardly, Olive walks out of the kitchenette, her eyes wide as she tried to avoid Sam, who still sat at the table on his computer. She wore a matching pair of Scooby Doo pajamas, which Dean bought her. Olive starts her nightly routine with a glass of water, putting away her things and making sure her teddy bear was tucked beside her. She counts the rocks on the nightstand, the ones that looked weirdly shaped or bright colored. She says they're special.

Sam watches from the table as Olive lifts the covers up to her chest, pulling out the children's book that Dean would read to her whenever he got the chance, which wasn't often anymore. He frowns, watching her flip through the pages with a sad sigh.

He closes his laptop, rubbing his eyes and standing up. "You, uh, didn't eat anything today." He announced, holding up a different bag of food that had french fries and chicken nuggets.

She looks at him from behind the book, her eyes instantly casting back down to the page. Sam sighs, walking over to her bed and sitting on the edge. Olive couldn't help but curiously watch him as he pulled out the box of chicken nuggets.

"Let's make a deal." He says. "If you eat this box of chicken nuggets, I'll read you that bedtime story." Sam motions to the book in her hands. He waits, watching as Olive looks between the nuggets and to book.

"What's the catch?" She says suddenly, voice laced with sleep.

Sam holds his hand up. "No catch, I promise."

Olive sighs. "Okay, fine. ." She grabs the box from his hand softly, looking down at the twelve nuggets with a frown. Sam smiles proudly when she took her first bite, swiping the book on the bed.

"The Angel and the Moon." Sam reads out, his eyebrows knitting together at the title.

"Daddy picked it." She says through a mouthful.

"Our mom used to read this to Dean when he was a kid." He says in thought.

Olive tilts her head "How do you know?"

"Because he used to read it to me." Sam says softly.

She smiles. "It's my favorite."

"Yeah. . .mine too." Sam says. He sighs, tapping her foot. "Alright, move over." Olive puts the empty box on the nightstand, shifting to the other side of the bed. Sam sat with his back on the headboard, flipping to the first place and dramatically shifting around to get comfortable. Olive smiles looking up at Sam as he cleared his throat.

"There once was this angel, who loved the moon more than anything in the world, and although loving the moon would get the angel into trouble, he couldn't help but love it anyway. . ."

Olive fell asleep shortly after that, Sam barely getting through the first five pages before she was slumped over and snoring soundlessly on his arm. He closes the book slowly, careful not to wake her as he slid off the bed. He was cautious, moving her in a comfortable position and lifting the blanket up to her chin.

With a soft smile, Sam moves away, pulling out his phone. He goes back into hunter mode, pulling out his phone and dialing the firs number he could think off. Bobby picked up on the second ring.

"Sam? where's Dean?"

"Hey, he went to go see your friend." Sam explains.

"And Olive? Where is she?"

Sam reels at the nervousness in the mans tone, glancing at her sleeping figure. "Uh, she's fine Bobby, she's with me." That didn't ease Bobby in the slightest. When he didn't hear anything on the other line, he continued. "Anyway. I'm trying to figure out where this things lairs up. A little help maybe?"

"What are the parameters?"

"Caves, basically. But there's nothing around for miles." Sam explains.

"So, less literal then. What else you got local that's cold, dark and wet?"

"Huh." Sam squints at the large map on the wall. "There's no subway lines. Sewers." He scoffs a laugh. "That could be it--wait Bobby." He chimes before Bobby could hang up the phone. "Um. . .you okay?"

"Yeah, of course. Why? What's wrong?"

He frowns at his tone. "Besides the way you've been acting and talking, nothing." He says sarcastically. "Is there something I should know?"

"No. All you need to know is where Godzilla's holed up."

"Bobby, what happened this year?" Sam pressed. "Why. . .why does Olive sometimes act like I killed her teddy bear or something?"

There was a long paused. "Look, it had its moments. No more than usual. . .and Olive? She's just like that, alright? Got nothing to do with you, Sam. How could it?"

"Right. Of course, but--"

"Call me if you need anything."

Sam lets out an aggravated sigh, disappointed that he couldn't get any answers out of Bobby. It was to be expected. He could always ask Olive what Dean was keeping from him but Sam couldn't bring himself to put that pressure on her. There was only one other person that he had in mind.

"Castiel." He prays out loud. "Um. . .I'm back. So if you got a minute. . .?" He trails, looking around the motel room hopefully. He jumps when Castiel appeared across the table, his face neutral. Sam stands up in amazement, not believing that the angel could possibly be alive.

"Sam." He greets, "It's so good to see you alive."

"Yeah. You too." He nods. Castiel raises his hands up for a hug, but with a shaky breath Sam sits back down. "Look, I would hug you but. . ." Last time I was near you you died.

His arms drop to his side. "That would be awkward." He finished.

Sam chances the subject. "So. . .crazy year, huh? I just talked to Bobby. He told me everything that happened."

"Frankly, I'm surprised that you survived." Cas says. "I was begging Dean not to do it."

"Yeah. No, I can understand that."

"You know, it's a miracle it didn't kill you." He continues.

Sam reels back at this, but keeps the persona up like he understood. "Yeah. . .Yeah, it's a miracle alright."

"So how does it feel?"

"What?"

"Well to have your soul back, of course." Cas shakes his head.

Sam almost slips, his face dropping anything he was trying to hide. His Soul? Why wouldn't Dean say anything? "Right. You mean. . . because I was walking around with no soul. Uh. . ." His eyes stung as he let out a breath. "Really good, Cas. I'm real good. You know what? I'm just hazy on a few of the details, though. You think maybe you could walk me through?"

And he did, taking a seat across from him at the table and explaining things that happened the day before Sam got his soul back, and a few things inbetween. Walking around soulless for a year and a half, already meeting Dean and Olive, the ways he acted with no remorse. He still left a lot of things out, a lot of important things that Castiel wouldn't dare to tell him.

"And the things you did to Olive. . ." Cas trails off, giving him a look.

"Wait what?" He chokes out, barely able to wrap his head around everything. "What did I do?"

Castiel shifts, glancing at the child who hadn't moved since he got here, sleeping peacefully. "I don't think I should. . ." He sighs.

"No." Sam said eagerly. "No. . .this would help me get a, uh, good understanding." He adds calmly.

"Well. . .you did break her leg with a metal pipe." He says bluntly.

Sam's face pales. "What?"

"But. . .I think that was after you left her with strangers at four in the morning to have sexual intercourse." He continues in thought, not taking into consideration that Sam had gone panicked. "Yes, that was certainly after. . .but that isn't as bad as the everyday constant neglect you've given her since she's met you."

"I-I. . ."

"But you breaking her leg is definitely something." Cas says. "Olive said she was upset you didn't take her sunflower, which. ." He chuckles. "Is silly. . .that shouldn't be the most upsetting."

"I can't believe I did that." Sam lets out a shaky breath, his eyes red with guilty tears. "She's just a kid."

"There's nothing you can do about it now, Sam." He shakes his head.

"No. There is something."

-

The hunt had gone as smooth as possible for the brothers, using the broken sword that Dean had gotten from the woman in San Francisco. Sam was suddenly avoiding Olive on the ride back to Bobby's which Olive hated. She hurt her feelings more than she cared to admit. Dean watched as Olive ran up to the house without helping them unload the car or say hello to Bobby, who nodded to Dean and followed after her.

"Hey, Sam!" Dean clears his throat, holding up the golden watch. "Ask me what time it is."

Sam scoffs a laugh. "Why don't you just cut to the chase and just roll in it?"

"I rarely have wealth." He shrugs, holding up a handful of golden. "Might as well buy Olive a new bike."

His smile drops, slowly sitting down across from his brother. "Dean. I am so. . .so sorry." He says sincerely. Dean freezes. "I can't even begin to say."

"For what?" He shifted.

Sam gives him a look. "You know what."

He clenches his jaw, nodding in defeat. "Did she--?"

"Cas."

"Cas." He scoffs. "Frigging child."

"You should have told me, Dean."

"You weren't supposed to know." He said firmly.

"What I did? To Bobby? To you?" Sam looks down at the table. "To Olive. . .your own daughter." His brother flinches at the memory. "Of course I should know."

"Sam, Death didn't just shove your soul back in, okay? He put up the Great Wall of Sam between you and the things you don't remember. And trust me when I say that the things you don't remember could kill you. That's not a joke."

"Like what I did to a child?" He pressed. "Because I know and it still kills me! I have to set things right, or what I can anyway. With all of them."

"It wasn't you!" Dean snaps.

He sighs tiredly. "You know. .I feel like I got slipped the worst mickey of all time, and I woke up to find out that I had burnt the whole city down." He admits. "And you can say it wasn't me, but I'm the one with the Zippo in my pocket, you know? So I'm not sure it's that cut-and-dry." He says. "Look, I appreciate you trying to protect me, I really do. . .but I gotta fix what I gotta fix, so I need to know what I did."

"That could be dangerous." Dean tries to explain.

Sam shakes his head. "What would you do?" He doesn't respond. "Right, same thing."

"Sam--"

He was cut off by Bobby, who walked into the garage with a deep frown. "Boys, there's something you ought to see." The brothers turn to each other with the same frown, promising the finish the conversation later.

"It dates back to the fourteenth century." Olive said smartly once Bobby passed the book between the brothers in the living room. "I have no idea what that means but Bobby said I could participate." She said happily, swinging her legs from the couch.

"What language is it?" Sam leans over it.

"Da Vinci Code." Bobby answered bemused. "Real obscure Latinate. It's gonna take me my golden years to translate it all." Olive leans over the book, squinting at the page. It seemed Toula's magic only extended to Greek and English. "Oh, and uh, FYI that ain't paper." He said, just as Olive picked it up.

"What is it?" Dean asked.

"It's human skin." He says calmly. Olive yelps, flinging the book straight at Dean who let in drop on the ground. Bobby sighed, "Children." He grabs the book from the ground, placing it back on his desk. "Oh-kay. I'm fairly clear of this first bit. It basically describes this place. . .it's like the backside of your worst nightmares. It's all blood and darkness."

"Yay." Olive chokes out.

"Yup. Filled with the bodies and souls of all things hungry, sharp and nasty." Bobby continued.

"Monsters?" Sam guessed.

"It's Monsterland." He nods.

"Adding Land doesn't make it less scary." She said, "Unless it has Disney in front of it."

"According to this it goes by many names, most of which I can't pronounce but I'm thinking you know Purgatory?"

Both Dean and Olive shift noticeably. "Purgatory?" Dean scoffs. "Awesome. Well, that's good to know. So you're saying that these dragon freaks were squatting in the sewers and reading tone poems about Purgatory?"

"Oh, no." Bobby shakes his head. "They're reading an instruction manual."

"What?" Dean's eyes widened.

"Yeah. If you're nuts enough to want access to a place that gnarly this book will show you how to open it."

"Door to Purgatory." Dean takes a sip of his drink. "Well, I know a demon who would have loved to have known about that."

"Yeah, he's mean and British." Olive shakes her head.

"How do you open the door?"

"Ask Cloverfield. I'm pretty sure he's got the pages." Bobby huffs.

"Okay, where does he live?" Olive pipes up.

"In a magical tree," Dean says sarcastically.

"Awesome!" She grins.

"It gets worse."

"Not awesome. . ."

"This ain't talking about how to take a vacation over there," Bobby says. "This is all about opening a door to let something in."

"Bringing something here?" Sam asked. "What?"

"I'm working on it."

"Could you give us something?" Dean pressed.

"I got a name."

"And?"

Bobby closes the book. "Mother."

"Mother?" Sam repeats, looking at Dean who had no clue. He then looks at Olive, but she didn't seem to understand where the conversation had drifted. "Mother of what? Mother of Dragons?"

"I wish. . .It says it a few times here." He said. Olive leans across the desk, looking at Bobby's translation paper.

"Mother of all."